Models made of plasticine
Fuck you. I didn’t deserve that.
I can hold the weight of worlds if that’s what you need.
I’m not throwing back my Thursday to a time where I got shit faced and made a joke of myself, or a friend who I haven’t seen in 3 years since high school. I’m throwing my Thursday back to the most important little guy who came into my life in 2012. This handsome feller taught me responsibility at a young age, because caring for him is like caring for a 2 year old. He’s a baby, and he thinks of me as his mother. He’s also my best friend, and I mean that with all seriousness. I wake up in the middle of the night every time he has a nightmare at the bottom of my bed. It kills me to hear him yelp in his sleep. I rush to his side to be there for him every time. He won’t eat when I’m not home, he’s afraid of turning his back while he eats. He needs me there so he feels safe. Safe enough to eat. He’s been through a lot. He was underweight when he came to me at 2 years old, and never been to the vet. I got him all of his vaccinations, neutered him (it’s proven to better their lives, not just stop them from creating little puppies) and he has since gotten up to the weight he’s supposed to be. He used to be afraid of people, now he loves people. He is my favorite, my very favorite. I would do anything for him, and I know he knows that. He kisses me when I’m sad, he sleeps by my side when I’m sick. He’s there for me just like I am there for him. For anyone who thinks animals don’t have feelings, and emotions, you’re ignorant and more importantly so very wrong. He has been there for me more than any person has ever been, and I love him for that.
I love you, Max. 


if i was a ghost i would do useful things like let the cat out or take flamable things off the stove and sing to small children when they can’t sleep and terrify the fuck out of assholes hell yeah bitches. what was that? did I hear you make a derogatory remark about women? bam, your lamp is now on the floor what cha going to do punk? are you abusing that child? wambo, your walls are now bleeding motherfucker

when you turn thirteen and want to paint your nails black
I’ll rummage through an old drawer and give you my own polish.
when you look at me and say, “momma, I’m lost.”
I’ll turn you towards the mirror
and say, “run darlin’, don’t ever let them find you.”

when the first day of high school comes
and you hurry to get out of the car with nerves in hand I’ll tell you,
“don’t run, walk slow. you’ll make it through.”
when you go on your first date I’ll remember my first date.
I’ll remember the look on my own mother’s face
when he didn’t open my car door
and baby, if he doesn’t open the car door remember your momma saying, “he doesn’t get to open anything else either.”

one day that boy will break your heart
and when you lock yourself in your room
I’ll buy you a journal, a brand new pen, a 2 liter of strawberry soda
and a potted violet with a note saying something like,
“white oleanders are poisonous and so is heartache.
violets symbolize something that I’ve since forgotten
and strawberry soda drowns the salt in your tears.”

one day you’ll pack your things,
I’ll write you letters and send you candles in the mail.
you’ll marry young or maybe old.
you’ll have a daughter of your own and watch the sun rise in her eyes.
just remember to never look up what violets symbolize
and when she looks at you with tears in her eyes
saying, “momma, I’m lost.”
turn her towards the mirror
and say, “run darlin’, don’t ever let them find you.”

and when they say you’re too much soul for one person,
remember the white oleanders. remember how their poison makes them beautiful/d.a.h (via whisperingbones)